A Letter to My Daughter on Her Fourth Birthday

It's not lost on me that very soon you'll be able to read this for yourself. As I sit here and ponder the last four years, and think about how it's possible that your dad and I even have a four year old, I also can't help but smile at the happiness you've already brought into this world.

My Haze a ma-taze, squash, big kid, smazel, cutest, and all the other nicknames...you're my best little friend. You have shown your dad and I a love we didn't know existed and today on your fourth birthday, I'm taking a minute to celebrate (and write about) YOU!

Your personality has shown through more this last year than ever before and what fun it has been to see you grow. You are sweet, confident, caring, and you have such a strong point of view. Your imagination takes your thinking to the most unexpected places. I love seeing how similar you are to your dad and I, but also how different you are. Your train of thought, your ability to reason, and your ideation are all so refreshing and way beyond your years. I love hearing your ideas and hope you never stop thinking critically about the world around you.

You love snowboarding and playing in the snow, you love traveling, and you also love staying home and playing with your toys. You love painting, creating, and figuring things out. You like school and adapt well to new environments. You even went to school for a week in Japan this year! Your favorite tv show is "Octonauts" and you have no problem telling me to turn on Netflix. Ha! You also really love your family, especially your grandparents and cousins. You spend a lot of time with them and they think you're the funniest kid in the world. You also like music and dancing, although your dad and I really can't help you much with those talents... Oh and you love gardening, digging, smashing, sliming, stomping, exploring, and pretty much anything that means you're outside.

When asked what you will do when you grow up, your answer is consistently "I will have two jobs. I will be a pediatrician and a mom." This answer warms my heart and wow, talk about validation for this working mom. Speaking of which, the mom guilt is real but each year as you grow a bit more independent, it gets a bit easier to split my time and although it's still hard, I have come to peace that as working parents your dad and I do our best and that's good enough. I hope you know how intentional we are with our time and how much we love being with you.

And lastly, I can't wait to see what the next year of your life will bring. We have a lot planned and you're right there in the middle of it all with a smile on your face and your bags packed. I love your ability to talk about your feelings and hope that will never change. I hope you continue to be curious and seek to learn. To enjoy the big and the small things in life (you love the ribbon on a present as much as the present right now) and continue being grateful for the life you have. I hope you will keep trying to make the world a better place and remember that your energy can be used for good. I hope you will keep trying to do the right thing and know that your dad and I will be here for you when things don't go as planned. Most of all I hope you keep smiling, loving, and being my happy little girl. Mom loves you. You are my whole heart.